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3:51 p.m. - 2014-01-08
Be Big
Once, during first hour study hall in Senora's classroom my senior year, she suddenly looked up across the classroom and half shouted at me:

"Rachel. What do you want to be when you grow up?!"

I continued looking down at the homework I'd been working on for a couple seconds before I began to glance up and murmured pensively, "Happy. I want to be happy."

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I think it's a habit I picked up when I started learning to snowboard: If I need to focus when I'm boarding, I just think a few words as a statement on repeat. When I would do falling leaf it was "toes up! toes up!" or "heels up!" When I learned to carve it was a slower "toessss... heelsss.... toes...."

But I have gotten past the stages of needing that level of self instruction. I rarely instruct myself down the hill anymore. The other day though, when I was boarding with Tonia, I was shooting a steep hill, and my automatic thoughts were, "be big. be big."

Is that where my courage comes from? Being "big?"

Thoughts of today,
Love,
Rachel

 

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